what can we do ..when we are angry?plz let me know...
what's solution to dis situation.....can we change others or it is better to change ourselves...
or is it better to get drunk .....until the moment we are lost....next day everything is the old story ..
or to watch a good movie ..so that we can roam in the imaginary world of movie life...until our anger is gone.......i was in the same situation last evening...tensed ..full with anger...there are many ways to be in that mood but mistakes is always in
our mind...what we
think
..that can be seen in our action ....but there is always a height of patience..i think in my case the level has crossed...one of my closed friend has betrayed me...is not that i was expecting to much from him in this professional college.!!
other reason to be in that mood is that i had a quarrel with one of the hostal staff on some unimportant issue...i have many option to get away from
this state of mind ...so finally i decided to get hang away ...i bought a bottle of whisky around 9.30..at the
11 pm midnight i was saying cheers to the ,cold blowing wind at night, on the roof ...alone.......d
weather was cool and my mind had also set in that frame.......
i came to my ruum at 12 chattd with a girl on inter hostal lan i get to realize first time dat i can be so annoying bt when i was so much annoying why he had tolerated me for 2 hr at that hour of time...
nyways girls are mixed pickle ..dat have different taste at different mode of time..
i went
to my bed at 2 am..complelety out of anger ...when i wake up at 10 am i realized many thing..........that i have done
to get out of anger ....again i m a alcoholic..d word i hated most..i wasted my money....i cheated my parents...to just get away from my feelings..but finally what can i do at last??
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
my +2 .....n...three and half yr of engg life
i would like to mention the date ..14thnov ...07 ....finally i got a lot of time to write my first blog .......being in the final yr of engg. college..bitmesra.... which is a phase of transition from life full of enjoyment n pleasure to a professional life ........sound something interesting .........
even i would like to say what i have done in this three and half yr of engg life.....
1st sem, full of expectation from this college .......... .......ratio of boy:girl would be more than my previous +2 school....in my previous school ,it was 50:3....very poor naa...but all expectations goes in vain..........again
120:13........
being in electronics and communications..engg deptt...
i expected some good bunch of subjects and teacher
would be there .....some electronics paper i would get to stdy ...bt there was no
electronics paper since 3rd sem.......going further into my engg life ......
i would like to write something about my +2 and how i get admissions into this college
in my +2 .....ggps,b.s.city was the name of the school..ratio of girls were 50:3 in my section..i was one of the lucky three to have my girlfriend out of three
...i would not like to mention her name .....
our relationship continued .....bt i think i was not mature enough to continue with the relationship we both have different way.....finally u know what would the end of the this....a big setback into my life .........jan..2k3... a year full of setbacks...my +2 xmas were near......in march,2k3 ,even iit paper was there but i was in nowhere in the iit, even aieee...in +2 however i managed to get
respectable score.....
...when nobody is with you then ur parents are always with you.....my dad suggested me to take a drop of 1 yr and prepare for the engg xmas from the home.....my home a small town of bihar stand no ways in the terms of coaching centre ...... stdy environment for the engg xmas..if we compare it with bokaro (b.s.city)...
but still fate is always written by the god.......(i always believe in god) we never know what is written in our destiny ,what we are going to get from where .......
i came to my home in may,03 .....bt started perparing seriously for the entrance xmas by nov,03 which is a bit late......i cannot forgot 31th dec...03 a yr from whch i got nothing .....ended.....
2k4....again a yr full of hope .....finally month of may arrived i have given my iit mains...n aieee n dce.....only 3 xmas.....i attended the counselling of all the three ...finally chosen bitmesra....i would not like to put every bit stuffs of my xams details .n rank here..that would sound boring.......
bt my dad is great.... his decision proved right otherwise what would be my fate in bokaro .....even a thought of bokaro will let my whole past appear before me.....
anyways coming back to my engg life.......
first yr went like a spring season for me new friends.......new place........
bt engg papr are really boring for first few sem.......den after coming to 4th sem
i got the actual feeling of my deptt.. papr...
...........................
again coming back in the first yr........it went out visiting city almost 4 days in a week.....gossips.....watching movies....with new friends.....
in the gossip few topics were prominent .......their previous school life ...sad story about not getting into iits.......old love stories..........
....i also found out a new concept of window shopping...sleeping in class..reading novels......we would watch any movies...even the hostal t.v room was thronged full with our batchmates at 12am ...u must be knowing the reasons...since no one has pc then ........also we have to attend the classes regurarly in accordance with the strict attendence rule of the college....which i hate the most......
but i did not got to know when our 1st sem xmas came ....winter vacation passed out by sleeping ...meeting old friends as usual.....hostal food was really something i hate even now the condition of hostal food remain unchanged........after the winter vacation was over our 2nd sem came it also went unnoticed .......same for 3rd sem....but one thing was there .....ur past is always with you.......i can never forget my past....bt still .....life continues.........3rd sem also passed out.....
in 4th sem i came to know my deptt closely.....as suggested by our seniors it was deptt terrorized by mr sukesh ......bt still we have our own way to enjoy ....sleeping in class......in college every ppl. has his own circle of friends...even i have my friend circle ....one thing i noticed everyone started reading novel at that time i never have a habit like this..to stdy novel......i also started reading novels during class time .....5 point somone....one night @call centre...alchemist....sometimes i feel alone donot know the reason ....i found a good company of cigaratte at that time ......
my first encounter with alcohol...it was after the fresher party was over in the 3rd sem
18thaugust,05...our senior have given us a full bottle of whisky .....we were four friend at that time ..drinking in our hostal room..
all were taking the whisky for the first time....finally all gone out ...except me..i was left alone to drink.. i finished the whole bottle...alchol is harmful i know but still it let us forgot the whole things in life ....
i was a happy man then...nothing to loose ....nothing to think...i was a happy man for dat moment...
next day i was hanging out ...on my bed .....thinking what my dad and mom would think ....
when they got to knew about my tranformations...some says it is a fashion to drink
and smoke in
engg college but still everyone has his own reason...i have my own reason.....
4th sem and 5th sem also passed out unnoticed ......with lots of birthday parties in both the sem.....crossing the campus after 10pm....which is unauthorized in our college....we always get the fun in doing the things which we are not allowed to do......
6th sem was a bit tough ....with placement at the head after the 6th semester..i have to give time for papers in this sem...i stdied a bit in this sem n in the summer holidays for the placement ....
finally i got into my dream company.....
i thought i have again proven myself.....bt still i do not know what i m trying to find.......friends are there.....sometimes i feel where i am now.. ....this college also give me a bit sense of professional life where every people have always some reason to talk to you ..some work with you.....anyways lonely mind is a den for lots of thoughts
may be the same things would be happening with me............
.But this college have given me a lot of things .......lot of memories ....still my 6month are left...lets see what more for me is still left in this college........
even i would like to say what i have done in this three and half yr of engg life.....
1st sem, full of expectation from this college .......... .......ratio of boy:girl would be more than my previous +2 school....in my previous school ,it was 50:3....very poor naa...but all expectations goes in vain..........again
120:13........
being in electronics and communications..engg deptt...
i expected some good bunch of subjects and teacher
would be there .....some electronics paper i would get to stdy ...bt there was no
electronics paper since 3rd sem.......going further into my engg life ......
i would like to write something about my +2 and how i get admissions into this college
in my +2 .....ggps,b.s.city was the name of the school..ratio of girls were 50:3 in my section..i was one of the lucky three to have my girlfriend out of three
...i would not like to mention her name .....
our relationship continued .....bt i think i was not mature enough to continue with the relationship we both have different way.....finally u know what would the end of the this....a big setback into my life .........jan..2k3... a year full of setbacks...my +2 xmas were near......in march,2k3 ,even iit paper was there but i was in nowhere in the iit, even aieee...in +2 however i managed to get
respectable score.....
...when nobody is with you then ur parents are always with you.....my dad suggested me to take a drop of 1 yr and prepare for the engg xmas from the home.....my home a small town of bihar stand no ways in the terms of coaching centre ...... stdy environment for the engg xmas..if we compare it with bokaro (b.s.city)...
but still fate is always written by the god.......(i always believe in god) we never know what is written in our destiny ,what we are going to get from where .......
i came to my home in may,03 .....bt started perparing seriously for the entrance xmas by nov,03 which is a bit late......i cannot forgot 31th dec...03 a yr from whch i got nothing .....ended.....
2k4....again a yr full of hope .....finally month of may arrived i have given my iit mains...n aieee n dce.....only 3 xmas.....i attended the counselling of all the three ...finally chosen bitmesra....i would not like to put every bit stuffs of my xams details .n rank here..that would sound boring.......
bt my dad is great.... his decision proved right otherwise what would be my fate in bokaro .....even a thought of bokaro will let my whole past appear before me.....
anyways coming back to my engg life.......
first yr went like a spring season for me new friends.......new place........
bt engg papr are really boring for first few sem.......den after coming to 4th sem
i got the actual feeling of my deptt.. papr...
...........................
again coming back in the first yr........it went out visiting city almost 4 days in a week.....gossips.....watching movies....with new friends.....
in the gossip few topics were prominent .......their previous school life ...sad story about not getting into iits.......old love stories..........
....i also found out a new concept of window shopping...sleeping in class..reading novels......we would watch any movies...even the hostal t.v room was thronged full with our batchmates at 12am ...u must be knowing the reasons...since no one has pc then ........also we have to attend the classes regurarly in accordance with the strict attendence rule of the college....which i hate the most......
but i did not got to know when our 1st sem xmas came ....winter vacation passed out by sleeping ...meeting old friends as usual.....hostal food was really something i hate even now the condition of hostal food remain unchanged........after the winter vacation was over our 2nd sem came it also went unnoticed .......same for 3rd sem....but one thing was there .....ur past is always with you.......i can never forget my past....bt still .....life continues.........3rd sem also passed out.....
in 4th sem i came to know my deptt closely.....as suggested by our seniors it was deptt terrorized by mr sukesh ......bt still we have our own way to enjoy ....sleeping in class......in college every ppl. has his own circle of friends...even i have my friend circle ....one thing i noticed everyone started reading novel at that time i never have a habit like this..to stdy novel......i also started reading novels during class time .....5 point somone....one night @call centre...alchemist....sometimes i feel alone donot know the reason ....i found a good company of cigaratte at that time ......
my first encounter with alcohol...it was after the fresher party was over in the 3rd sem
18thaugust,05...our senior have given us a full bottle of whisky .....we were four friend at that time ..drinking in our hostal room..
all were taking the whisky for the first time....finally all gone out ...except me..i was left alone to drink.. i finished the whole bottle...alchol is harmful i know but still it let us forgot the whole things in life ....
i was a happy man then...nothing to loose ....nothing to think...i was a happy man for dat moment...
next day i was hanging out ...on my bed .....thinking what my dad and mom would think ....
when they got to knew about my tranformations...some says it is a fashion to drink
and smoke in
engg college but still everyone has his own reason...i have my own reason.....
4th sem and 5th sem also passed out unnoticed ......with lots of birthday parties in both the sem.....crossing the campus after 10pm....which is unauthorized in our college....we always get the fun in doing the things which we are not allowed to do......
6th sem was a bit tough ....with placement at the head after the 6th semester..i have to give time for papers in this sem...i stdied a bit in this sem n in the summer holidays for the placement ....
finally i got into my dream company.....
i thought i have again proven myself.....bt still i do not know what i m trying to find.......friends are there.....sometimes i feel where i am now.. ....this college also give me a bit sense of professional life where every people have always some reason to talk to you ..some work with you.....anyways lonely mind is a den for lots of thoughts
may be the same things would be happening with me............
.But this college have given me a lot of things .......lot of memories ....still my 6month are left...lets see what more for me is still left in this college........
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